Hi ive always thought I was different to others as I find it excruciatingly hard mixing with people ,my body seems to act to prevent me from being who I really am, I blush mentally freeze sweat and sometimes shake, I dont know why ,it all seems totally crazy to me because I really am very laid back and easy going and sometimes maybe loud and funny ,once Im at ease with someone. However because of the initial difficulties I rarely do meet people,and have found my self becoming more alienated. Ive recently found out about SA and im relieved to know that im not alone.

Hi Robbie,

I identify with everything you have written and you could have been describing me! I am loads better these days so all I can advise is to always have hope and to gradually work towards improving. If you don't rush it and are prepared for many setbacks then you will get to where you want to be. Have you read my posts about the Confidence courses I did? they are a great help and another thing that spurred me on was reading Dare to Connect by Susan Jeffers. I have tended to avoid self-help books but this one I connected to straight away. The advise has been so incredibly helpful but it takes time and hard work to put it all in practice and I am only just beginning but the small improvement i have already with dealing with people is enough to keep the motivation going. The main thing that helps is to stop worrying about what other people think of you and to believe totally in yourself, I can't even describe what a MASSIVE difference just changing that thought process has made! I now think about other people more and am more tolerant of people too and am a better person for that, though it is hard after all these years of being a certain way. I still have to push myself and make sure I don't avoid things and just go for it! and still find myself starting to put on an act with people instead of just being myself (very important) but I know now that it is all down to me to change things and make life better as noone can do it for me. Having good supportive friends is very important too and to avoid people that bring you down.
Anyway, I could go on but there's nothing worse than loads of advice!! so I wish you lots of luck and I know that just by posting on here it means you are ready to start changing things and show everybody that great funny, laid back person that you are and I do hope it isn't too long until you feel less alienated as it's such a horrible feeling but keep believing that it will go, as it will.

All the best
Jenny
x

Hi Robbie

Good to see you have posted on the forum. Doing something about SA is very important and keeping in touch with other people. It is easy to become isolated when you have SA and that is why the group exists to show you that you are not alone and others are going through the same as you. As Jenny says it is important to take little steps to help yourself and keep taking them. Some will be easier than others. Self help books are good as they can give you inspiration when you are feeling down and the info on this site is good for that as well. Learning to think about other things when you are out as well focussing on them rather than yourself and when you find you can't do that just accepting it rather than fighting it. Not taking yourself too seriously and laughing - laughter is a good way to get rid of tension. Hope some of this helps.

Gill

Hi Robbie, great to hear from you.

Gill's right - laughter's good for you! Just watching a funny TV programme will make you think differently, cheer you up... I try to make a joke when I can since it's one of the few things you can do that no one can say you did wrong, and it also changes the mood of yourself and the people you're with. Of course it's all too easy to find yourself in a depressed mood in this life, and your brain doesn't work the same way when it's like that...

Oh, and don't try just standing in public and laughing to yourself. Tried that. People avoid you.