Hi Ed,

It's great to hear from you, and as Jenny said, please don't worry as you are never too old to work through anxiety, it's just whenever the time is right for you. As we all know, such things take a great deal of strength, so you have to be ready within yourself to start making positive changes. What Jenny wrote above is all so true, she wrote it so well that I can't really elaborate, and you're right, she does show such strength.

I liked what you said - "Maybe healing myself will open up my eyes to who I really am". Although I don't actually have Social Anxiety myself (though I can totally empathise with how it makes people feel), I went through an extremely tough time with OCD which manifested itself in a severe fear of contamination and germs which got to the stage where I could barely leave the house, I felt isolated from family and friends as I couldn't bare being near people, and felt so alone. I had to give up my job as the anxiety got just too much. However, as I began working through my fears and anxieties with the help of a wonderful Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, it seemed that week by week I was peeling away another layer of myself, like an onion, learning more and more about who I really was, where my anxieties stemmed from and the mind sets that were keeping them going. It really was such a valuable time of self discovery, and one which I feel I desperately needed to be able to move forward positively in my life.

As Jenny said, there will be set backs and these are a natural part of getting better - your mind is bound to rebel at times after being used to thinking a certain way when you are trying to teach it to think differently - but what really helped me was when I realised that a thought doesn't matter. It is only a thought, and a thought can be changed. It may take a lot of strength but it CAN be done. It was such a revellation to me when I finally understood this concept, and realised that everybody, no matter who they are, think thousands of thoughts each day, some of which may be bizarre, negative, or quite unpleasant, but what the majority of people then do is put that thought out of their head as quickly as it came by not attaching any meaning to it at all and replacing it with another, positive thought. What I was doing at the time was having these fearful, negative thoughts and dwelling on them, attaching meaning to them and then worrying and letting my behaviour reflect on how they made me feel. Now, if an anxious thought comes into my head, I am able to rationalise it and let it go.

At one time, I could never have dreamed that my life could have been as it is now. At the start of my Therapy, I really didn't think I had the strength to work through my anxieties, but I surprised myself, and am still amazed at what I am able to do without giving things much thought at all. The key is to work through things gradually and one step at a time. I am also proof that, with strength and determination, you CAN get through this. Jenny gave some wonderful advice when she talked about focusing on positives rather than negatives, and if you think of what you CAN do rather than what you can't, you will surprise yourself.

All the very best,

Angela

Thank you Jenny and Angela for your wise words and encouragement, I will definitely keep you posted on how I'm doing (sorry I just had to put a note of thanks onto the Facebook page as well)! I'll be back on here soon!

Ed